


Bruises, Blood, and Bullet Wound

by chopper_marrow



Category: Persona 5
Genre: (still somewhat unconvinced that goro died in canon), Blood, Canonical Character Death, Goro POV, Happy Ending, Incredibly self indulgent, Kinda?, M/M, Somewhat, ghost ren, smitten goro
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-14
Updated: 2018-11-14
Packaged: 2019-08-23 05:47:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16613072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chopper_marrow/pseuds/chopper_marrow
Summary: He had been with him for as long as Goro could remember.Black curly hair, sickly pale skin, dead gray eyes. He wore a school uniform and liked to float in the air. He was littered with cuts and bruises, with a blood splatter that was eternally etched on his youthful face and a bullet wound in the middle of his forehead. Yet, even with all that obscuring his face, Goro couldn’t help but think that he was the most beautiful person he had ever met.(BadEnd!Ren's ghost winds up in the past, gluing himself to Goro since his earliest memories. Goro doesn't mind, not at all.)





	Bruises, Blood, and Bullet Wound

**Author's Note:**

> birthday gift for my best friend. hap birth. you know who you are.
> 
> kudos to the wonderful [Aurelius_Carlan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aurelius_Carlan/pseuds/Aurelius_Carlan) for doing a last-minute proofreading for me. bless you.

Goro had always noticed his presence. The teen was never out of his eyesight, constantly looking at him with wonder and curiosity. Sometimes, he would stare back, and the teen’s face would light up as he gave a small wave at the brunet’s direction.

It was only when he was three did he have the courage to return the wave.

His mother was with him at the time. His mother, who had never seem to notice the teen’s presence, looked at him in alarm and asked, “What are you waving at?”

“Him,” Goro said, pointing at the figure at the other end of the room. The teen beamed and made his way to the child, apparently taking the acknowledgment as a permission to get closer.

_“Tell her I’m your imaginary friend.”_

“Image… ry… friend?”

“Oh,” she sighed. “Well, I guess you _are_ at that age.” She went back to sorting through the letters they received in the mail.

Since then, she never questioned whenever he would seemingly speak to thin air.

Even as he got older, she never questioned his oddity, because she had left his side - _left the world_ \- before she could see him grow.

She had jumped down from the roof of their apartment building. He had been on his way home from school when her body just dropped violently in front of him. There was a sickening _crack_ , then the blood splattered everywhere, then there was a scream somewhere from behind him, but he couldn’t tear his gaze away from his mother’s body in front of him, broken, crooked.

Her eyes were still open, lifeless. Not unlike how his own ghostly companion’s optics were.

Ren - he had found out the teen’s name shortly after their first interaction - tried to block his vision by hugging him. Didn’t work as he’d hoped, considering how the teen was semi-transparent. He could still somewhat see the… _corpse_ , even if a bit blurry. He appreciated the effort, though.

 

\-----

 

_ > 12 years old _

“Do you really think I wouldn’t notice how some food has gone missing within the past week?”

_“I’m surprised you did, considering you’ve never noticed your own husband cheating behind your back for at least two months now.”_

“I can’t believe the _audacity_ you have! We’ve provided you with clothes-” _“Your son’s hand-me-downs and all ripped up.”_ “-shelter-” _“Ah, yes. Let the growing child live inside the stuffy and dusty attic with no proper heating.”_ “-and food-” _“You mean leftovers from weeks ago as you enjoy newly made dishes?”_ “-and you still want _more_ ? I have _had it_ with you!” _“And I, you.”_

It took a while, but in the end, social services had come to get him and dropped him back to foster care. It’s been like that for years now. A family took him in, either saw a problem within him or was problematic themselves, then he was returned to where the other unwanted children were thrown away. Throwaway children. A fitting title.

_“I think you really should go with my plan.”_

“You know what? Fine.”

_“Think about it! You- wait, what?”_

“I said fine, we’ll go with your ‘plan’.”

_“Nice! Operation Homeless, here we go!”_

Goro sighed. Ren was acting unnervingly happy with the fact that they - _he_ \- would have to survive out there on without assistance. Still, he had been mulling about it seriously for the past few months. Being homeless was better than being discarded like trash every single time, in his opinion. At least his condition would be something that he decided on his own, and not one forced on him.

Seeing Ren backtalk at the annoying adults with them being none the wiser was therapeutic, but the whole ordeal was getting tiresome.

That night, he packed some necessities inside a bag and snuck out from the window.

 

\-----

 

_ > 14 years old _

_“You’re learning things really quickly. At this point, you’ll surpass me in terms of vocabulary in no time.”_

They were sitting in one corner of the public library, away from prying eyes. Goro was studying to improve his reading and writing, while Ren acted as a tutor of sorts.

Life in the streets was rough, but he managed. He met some kind homeless people who didn’t mind him sleeping in their camp at night. During the day, he would collect tin cans and other ‘valuable’ trash and exchange them for some money.

He didn’t plan on living like this for the rest of his life, of course. He’d been keeping up with his studies to prepare for high school entrance exams later on. Some schools offer free tuition, books, and dorm lodging for the applicant who ranked first, and Goro would get that scholarship no matter what.

Libraries were a blessing, in that regards. Nobody would kick him out as long as he didn’t make any ruckus, he could stay in there as long as he wanted until closing time, and _books_. Books were a gift bestowed upon humanity by a higher power who deemed that lowly humans somehow deserved the pleasure of reading.

 _“You nerd.”_ Ren poked Goro’s forehead. The brunet shivered.

“Stop that! It’s winter and your low temperature isn’t helping,” he hissed out.

The smile on the ghost’s face turned mischievous. He reached his hands out suddenly and planted them on both of Goro’s cheeks. The sudden movement and the cold that greeted his skin made Goro jump on his seat, eliciting a high-pitched yelp and causing him to fall to the ground. The surrounding people looked at him weirdly and he couldn’t fight down the blush that appeared on his face.

“Sorry,” he murmured. They turned back to whatever they were previously doing.

Someone snickered, and he looked up to find Ren floating upside-down directly above him, doing a poor attempt to hide his mirth.

“I’m gonna kill you,” Goro whispered. Ren grinned.

_“I’m already dead.”_

 

\-----

 

He stumbled upon someone one day. The person wasn’t remarkable, no. Dull brown hair, dull brown eyes, forgettable face, not remarkable at all. It was his uniform that caught his attention.

The uniform was a carbon copy of the one worn by a certain ghost that liked to float annoyingly around him. A white turtleneck shirt with two arrows on the collar pointing up, plaid trousers, and a black blazer with red buttons and an insignia on the breast pocket. He was from Shujin Academy, he said.

Curious. Goro looked into the school’s history. It was a recently-built school, only three years old. Ren had been with him longer than that.

Curious. He’d ask Ren.

 

\-----

 

“You don’t _know_? Really? Is that the excuse you’re giving me?”

_“Yup.”_

“While we’re at it, do you even know your own origin? Why you’re here? Why only I can see you, all that stuff?”

_“Your guess is as good as mine. Hell, maybe even better. You’re the smart one, after all.”_

Goro sighed. He found himself doing it a lot when dealing with his companion. “At least tell me what you _do_ know.”

The ghost imitated his thinking pose, _“Well, I know your birthday is June 2nd, you despise sweets for some ungodly reason, you had a crush on Red Hawk from Featherman R back in elementary school - though now that I think about it, you probably still do. You-”_

“Okay, that’s enough.” Ren snapped his mouth shut, but the grin on his face only irked Goro even more.

“You know what I mean, Ren.” The ghost went quiet, then he floated around him, drifting lazily as if he were swept away by a calm current, this time actually thinking the question through.

The brunet was ready to give up waiting until the ghost glided back to him, hands outstretched and circling around Goro’s neck. He could feel the cold temperature emanating from Ren, whose body was pressed close to him, face inches away from his own. He could imagine the weight of the arms around him even though it’s nonexistent. It was unfair how the black haired teen could touch him, of sorts, but not vice versa.

_“I know for a fact that I care for you deeply.”_

He gently pecked Goro’s cheek, an ice-cold kiss which lasted no more than a second, before pulling away and flying off at the opposite direction and past the wall at light speed to hide his embarrassment.

Goro would forgive him for being annoying _just_ this once.

 

\-----

 

Even years afterward, Goro couldn’t forget the mysterious circumstances that led to his mother’s death. His mother never showed any signs of suicidal tendencies and hadn’t seemed to be having any kind of psychological pressure, but maybe he was remembering wrong? So he went back to the place where it happened, some time after he got out of the foster care system and had healed the trauma of losing his own mother right in front of his eyes.

He went to visit the landlady. A sweet old woman who was always patient with his mother whenever she couldn’t pay the rent on time. She greeted him with a warm hug and equally warm tea. It’s been a while since he’d had any beverage that _wasn't_ tapped water, so he had savored the taste.

She told him all she knew about his mother. How she didn’t show anything out of the ordinary prior to her death. How it had all been too sudden. How _suspicious_ it all was. But she never dared to dig too deep, because she didn’t want to mess with something that might be above her. Goro couldn’t blame her for her own self-preservation instincts.

It gave him clues though, and one thing led to another until, in the end, he obtained a name.

Masayoshi Shido.

A rising politician, Goro’s own father, and the person who was responsible for his mother’s death.

 

\-----

 

_ > 15 years old _

Ever since he discovered who his father was, his goal of ‘living a better life’ had changed to ‘take revenge on his sperm donor’. His efforts to take said revenge was borderline obsessive, from calling up his shady connections for information to stalking the man’s underlings. Ren noticed the changes, even if Goro himself hadn’t, but said nothing on the matter.

While looking into Shido, the brunet stumbled upon the fact that the man was looking into a study about manipulating someone’s cognition by traveling to another world.

Then, somehow, a mysterious app showed up in the brunet’s phone. Somehow, the app transported him into another world filled with monsters formed out of humanity’s twisted desires. Somehow, he managed to survive by calling forth his own inner demon and ripping off the mask that had stuck to his skin.

_Loki._

It didn’t take a genius to put two and two together and come to the conclusion that the thing Shido was looking for had been handed to Goro on a silver platter.

A plan formed in his mind.

He went back again, honed his skills, somehow went through a second awakening, this time resulting in _Robin Hood_. He went in deeper and deeper within the ominous copy of the Tokyo subway system. There were giant walls that had at first fooled him into thinking he wouldn’t be able to proceed, but Loki managed to show him wormholes that would deliver him to a different area. He climbed down as far as he could manage until it was too dangerous for him to proceed. Then, he made his move.

He contacted Masayoshi Shido.

Somehow, someway, he’d convinced the man to let the teen work for him.

And so began his plan to bring Shido to the pinnacle of his career- only to later bring him down in one fell swoop.

 

\-----

 

_ > 16 years old _

Shido had created a background for him. He faked an elementary and junior high school certificate for him. The man would have bribed Goro’s way into his high school too if the teen hadn’t stopped him. He needed the credibility if he wanted to create the ‘public persona’ that Shido had planned.

In truth, he simply didn’t want to be enrolled in a high school simply because of the bald-headed politician’s doing. He worked hard to get where he was, hours spent in the library studying, and he would be damned if it all went to waste.

(He had wanted to apply to Shujin, the school with the uniform that Ren wore, but they didn’t offer any scholarships, so he had to abandon that plan.)

He caused psychotic breakdowns and mental shutdowns, solved the cases that nobody seemingly could, got media coverage, managed a contract with the police’s investigation team, and built a reputation as the second coming of the Detective Prince.

(Shido had let him call the shots on what he would inflict on his unfortunate victims. If Goro deemed their crimes rather light, psychotic breakdown. If his target was a despicable human being who didn’t deserve to live, mental shutdown. Some people had been exceptions, like the scientist who was his first mental shutdown victim. People like her had been a specific hit order from Shido. Then there were some that needed a more _manual_ approach. His briefcase held a gun and a silencer inside a hidden compartment specifically for those instances.

He never noticed this before, but Goro realized that he’d been so desensitized with death from his continued exposure to a murdered boy.)

Ren couldn’t come with him to that other world, for some reason. Whenever Goro turned on the app, he would end up alone as soon as the black-and-red vortex settled down. It was a shame, but he took comfort in the fact that the ghost would never fail to greet him in the real world as soon as he returned.

They didn’t talk as much as they used to. Ren still clung to him, yes, outside of Metaverse trips of course, but Goro had to admit that he’d been neglecting his companion quite a bit. Thanks to Shido and his goons, the number of trips made to the Metaverse increased significantly, further preventing the ghost from being with him. Whenever he returned, Goro would be too tired to even talk and would sometimes immediately collapse in his bed as soon as he was back in his apartment. Other times, they would be surrounded by other people, be it fans of the Detective Prince, reporters, cops, or fellow students.

But it’s fine. Ren understood. He always did.

(He was taking Ren’s presence for granted.)

 

\-----

 

_ > 18 years old _

Goro entered the TV station where he would be having his interview the next day. When he exited the elevator on the designated floor, Ren had taken off somewhere, for some reason. He turned a corner, idly wondering why the ghost did that, only to find his answer metaphorically slap him in the face and leave him breathless.

There he was, floating in the air as usual, except this time he’s cradling the head of someone _not_ Goro. Someone who was the exact mirror of Ren, except with glasses and no bruises, no bullet wound, no blood.

The ghost was the happiest the brunet had ever seen him in a long time, and it _hurt_ . It hurt to see Ren being happy with someone else when _Goro_ was the one the ghost had spent most of his time with, nevermind the fact that this ‘someone else’ was his mirror image. The ghost was raking his fingers through his look-a-like’s hair, humming a happy tune with a blissful smile and closed eyes, and Goro was jealous. He couldn’t help but glare at the bespectacled boy, who looked at him in confusion as to why the brunet had aimed such intense animosity towards him.

Who was he? What was his relationship with Ren? Why was Ren so happy to be in his presence? Why-

“Hey, dude, what’s your problem?”

That snapped him to reality. The three teenagers had stared at him with varying levels of curiosity, while the ghost had finally seemed to notice his presence and floated back to Goro’s side. Not before placing a kiss on the bespectacled boy’s forehead, though, which made his heart burn with envy.

“Forgive me, I couldn’t help but notice how your friend looks very much like someone I know.”

“Damn, that person must have pissed you off real bad, judging from your glare earlier.”

 _“Aw, Goro, are you_ jealous _? How sweet!”_

The brunet shook his head, already used to ignoring Ren when in the presence of other people. “I’m very sorry for that. I hope you weren’t offended by it. I really meant no harm.”

The apology was aimed at the bespectacled boy, who looked a bit skittish when he realized he was being addressed, and ended up playing with a strand of hair before replying with a small, “S’fine.”

His voice was the same as Ren, albeit a bit quieter. It was like seeing a reserved version of the ghost. Frankly, it was rather disturbing, and he fought the urge to glance back and forth between the boy and his longtime companion, who was now hugging him from behind and resting his chin on Goro’s left shoulder.

_“Goro, If we don’t go now, you’ll be late for the briefing~”_

The brunet checked the time. Ren was right, he really should be going now. With another apology and a suggestion to a cafe that offered some good pancakes, he threw a smile at the group’s direction before walking away.

 

\-----

 

 _“Good night, Goro.”_ Ren had said as soon as they’d returned to his apartment. It had been a busy day, and usually, Goro would be faceplanting onto the bed right about now. But that night was different.

“Ren.”

_“Hm?”_

“Please hug me.”

Once again he regretted his inability to initiate physical contact with the ghost. Neither of them understood why it was only Ren who could touch Goro, but that was the way it worked. Ren gave a questioning look, puzzled by the brunet’s odd request. He’d _never_ asked for contact before.

The black haired ghost indulged him. He approached the teen sitting on the bed and, while floating slightly above the brunet’s lap, hugged him from the side, one hand easily combing through the long brown locks thanks to his slightly elevated position.

“I’m sorry we haven’t been talking a lot like in the past.”

The ghost hummed.

“I promise, once this is all over, once that Shido bastard goes down, we can go back to how we were back then. My entire focus will be on you from then on.”

His only reply was the soft, cold touches of Ren’s fingers brushing his hair soothingly.

 

\-----

 

Ren was gone again. Usually, the ghost would be with him 24/7, except whenever he got within close proximity to his living copy, Kurusu (a fact that still riled him up to this very moment). But for some reason, the ghost would always disappear on the 20th of November, every year without fail, only to return the next day as if nothing had happened. Ren never offered any explanation, and Goro never pried, so they left it at that.

It was why Goro chose to commence the operation to catch the leader of the Phantom Thieves on that exact date, so that Ren wouldn’t see him kill his mirror image.

In hindsight, it was pretty stupid of Goro to not have figured it out sooner.

Seeing Kurusu inside that interrogation room was sobering because he realized that _this was it_. This was how Ren had died. He died because of Goro. The cuts, blood, bruises, they all made sense now. And so will the bullet wound in the middle of his forehead and the blood that will forever be etched on his beautiful face.

He pulled the trigger.

 

\-----

 

Ren didn’t return on the 21st of November. Nor the next day. Nor the next.

 

\-----

 

The lack of Ren’s presence in his life disoriented him. It was as if someone had cut off a part of his soul. It was _painful_ whenever he woke up, expecting to see those dead eyes and bloodied face and vibrant smile welcoming him to consciousness, only to be faced with thin air. He would say something, waiting for a response from his companion, only to hear silence. He would feel a sudden chill, and he thought Ren had finally returned and given him a well-earned hug, but there was nobody there.

He missed his witty remarks, his non-existence touches, his dead gray eyes, his bruises and blood and bullet wound, his annoying personality, his endearing personality.

He missed Ren.

 

\-----

 

The Thieves had outsmarted him. Akira Kurusu stood there, alive and whole, no signs of death that he had imagined the teen to have, one that he would usually see - _used to see -_ in the one closest to him. No bruise, no blood, no bullet wound. The traces of Ren he had once seen in the teen was gone.

Goro hated Kurusu. Hated him for reminding Goro of what he had lost.

But they beat him fair and square. He went all out against them and he still lost. He wasn’t able to keep Ren by his side, and it appeared as if he wouldn’t be able to complete his revenge scheme. Useless. Pathetic.

Then the Phantom Thieves offered their hands, for him to cooperate with them in taking Shido down, and Goro almost broke down when Kurusu pleaded, because he heard Ren’s voice in his, and he almost took the offer.

Idiotic.

A cognitive version of him appeared, bringing an army of shadows with him, and Goro knew that even with all of their powers combined, they wouldn’t be able to win against so many shadows, especially since they were all still worn out from the fight with him.

His cognition ordered him to shoot the leader of the Phantom Thieves, and he almost did, because at that point he couldn't care less about anything else. Except, when he pointed his gun towards Kurusu, his mind conjured up Ren, overlapping with the masked teen.

He couldn't do it a second time. He couldn’t betray Ren again.

He shot the cognition as a distraction, and a split second later shot the switch on the far end of the room. Not long after a shutter rose up, separating the crowd, with the Phantom Thieves on one side and Goro and the shadows on the other.

“I’m not doing this for you,” he managed to say. “Do me a favor and kick Shido’s ass.”

Gunshot. Pain bloomed in his chest. Everything went cold. Everything went black.

 

\-----

 

He was greeted to consciousness by dead gray eyes, bruises, bloodstained face, and a bullet wound. He was greeted to consciousness by a warm smile and cold fingers combing through his hair.

“Good morning, Goro.” A familiar voice called to him. A voice he missed. A person he missed.

His companion. His angel. His salvation.

“... Is this Heaven?” Ren looked down at him, amused.

“If only.”

Goro processed his surroundings. They were in the boiler room of Shido’s cruise ship. The shutter was still up, sealing them there, and Ren was sitting on the floor with his back to the massive steel wall. Goro was laying on the ground with his head resting on top of Ren’s lap.

…

His head was… _on_ Ren’s lap?

The brunet looked at Ren questioningly, a sliver of hope entering his eyes. The other’s only response was to take one of Goro’s hands and entwining their fingers. The brunet stared at their connected hands in fascination.

“How…?” Ren sighed, looking a bit sad.

“I think you know the answer to that.”

He realized with a start that he indeed knew the answer. He died, simple as that. He craned his neck around and sure enough, he saw his own body sitting against the shutter door, unmoving, rotting away.

“So…” Goro started. He looked up and met Ren’s gaze. “What now?”

He was reunited with Ren. The Phantom Thieves would take care of Shido. Those were the things that had kept him going, and now that they were achieved (somewhat), Goro felt lost. He didn’t know what to do, especially with his status of newly-deceased.

Ren’s cold hand that had continued raking through his hair was grounding.

“Hmm, I don’t know. But we’ll figure it out, I’m sure.”

Ren smiled down at him, and it was as if he was faced with the sun.

“We have all the time in the world, after all.”

**Author's Note:**

> they ended up traversing the metaverse for a period of time until yaldabaoth was defeated. they then found themselves materializing in the velvet room after the metaverse crumbled away. igor and all his attendants (not just lavenza) were kinda like meh, whatever. hang around if you want. the two became resident ghosts who liked to bother future protagonists by being general annoyances with their pda. they lived (died) happily ever after.
> 
> pff. jk.
> 
> "hey i thought ren couldn't enter the metaverse. how come he's there at the end?" i actually have an explanation for this but putting it in the story was kinda meh for me so here it is. basically, ren's a ghost, right? and a lot of people seem to be under the impression that ghosts are invisible to the human eye. in truth, ren always followed goro in his metaverse shenanigans, except goro couldn't see him. yeah. the cognition altered his vision. but when he himself died and became a ghost, goro could see ren again. yay :D
> 
> say hi?  
> twitter: @chopper_marrow  
> tumblr: chopper-marrow
> 
> Edit 11/15/2018 : Changed the date of Ren's disappearance.


End file.
